words. music.

Confession#3: Social Anxiety

I have a confession..

- a "short" story of my life with S.A.

Ever since i was a kid, i had always problem of meeting other people, i thought it was hard to start a conversations with people, i couldnt even look them in the eyes,  i was silent most of the time when i was with people, everytime we had oral presentation in school, i was very nervous and about to faint everytime, i couldn't sleep well the day before every presentation, i was alway worrying what people would say if it do that and this etc, and would be embarrest if i ever did something wrong or foolish, and could've nagging on that for a while..

I honestly thought it was just shyness, cause everytime a friend of my parents ask them why i didn't talk to much or something like that, they always say that i was only shy..so i thought i just was a shyguy..

When i was studying "caregiver" on high school, and had a lecture about social anxiety. And it hit me, and felt that i had some of those symptoms etc. From that second on, i knew i might have a weak form of social anxiety. I have never been diagnosed for Social Anxiety, but after years of studying within "health and science", i have my thoughts and opinion.. But as a highschooler, i didn't want to tell anybody that i had a weak form of Social Anxiety, cause i think it was lame, so i kept my mouth shut and just decided to work on it..

It was first when i got into college and studied nursing, i "revealed"/"admit" (or whatever you would say) that i have a weak form of Social Anxiety.. It's because i learned more about it, and really think that it's good for me to not "hide" it..

Anywho, when i got older ( from highschool + *17 yrs old*, to be more specific)  i got better to handle my anxiety, for instant i think it's not so scary to have a presentation in school, and i don't care what people think if i do this and that (or atleast not as much as i was before), or if a do something foolish, i don't think about it as much as i did. I wasn't struggling on the anxiety as much when i was younger..

Now, i think i handle things much better, even though, i still have a weak form of it (but not as much that it's bothering me all the time..) I still think is kinda hard to have conversations with new people or people i usually don't meet often, i do sometimes worry what people think of me etc etc.
The weirdest thing is, i could talk to a girl, and be really close to that person, but when i suddenly fall for the person, it's like i'm back at square one, and the anxiety comes back, and starts to overthink, nervous, feeling like i could faint, etc.. the feeling like i'm not myself.. So yeah, that's what i gotta work more on..

The reason that im writing this, is for terapeutical use for myself..
*And for those who have a social anxiety, all i can say is, it will be better, as long as you work on it.. I can't tell and say that it's it easy to overcome the anxiety, for it is not,
And i cant even imagine how hard it is for those people who really have a major social anxiety, that the anxiety is taking over your life.. I only hope and pray for you guys, and i think it will be better, it's only takes time..be patience, and work hard :)*

Poster in the making.

We were at my bro's school just for some minutes ago, Yes midnight schooling.. lolz..
fixing my poster at the moment, *With Big Big Big Big creds, to my big bro, who helped me alot! lol, he did ALL the work, must i say! he's the BAWS, thanks alot mr.Jagger!

The world is Craay! Are y'all for realz!? #1

"The world is Craay! Are y'all for realz!?" is where i think something/someone does something that either are weird, effd up, idiotic etc. or even worse.. all of them.. lol.. 

I decided to start to write something like that, after a horde of people freaking running like it was the end of the world, when J.Bieber had concert here in Oslo on may 30th, 2012..

The world is Craay! Are y'all for realz!? #1

This one, Geez.. How is it even possible.. HAHAHA..
it's like "friday by rebecca black" and times it with 300,
and then you know, there's something wrong in this world we live in!



But anywho.. This is my opinion... Maybe(?) somebody is really into that song..

but for me, all i can say is.. what the "#¤¤% is happening to this world..